Why we are slowly poisoning our Children (Part II)

Why we are slowly poisoning our Children (Part II)

The Junk and the Body

I have on occasion paid keen attention (whenever I go to a restaurant) on what adults, including parents order for the children accompanying them. Most of the time I see kids eating potato chips (French fries -with no vegetables) , a sausage(s) and lots of time soda. While the adult’s menu will have vegetable in most cases and less dangerous foods such as soups. I have also witnessed many times kids being pacified with sweets, cake and all things sugary. At such times, I want to scream.

Foods rich in sugar and fat have a high calorie content and continuous eating of such foods can lead to obesity and hence health related problems.

Fighting Child obesity (The food)

1.      Buy and serve more fruit, vegetables, beans and other legumes. These foods are low in calories, have high fibre content and they suppress hunger, hence tend to prevent over eating.

2.      When introducing new healthy foods, start with small servings. If they child is still hungry, let them ask for more. Don’t force them to eat, they’ll detest the food. If possible, pack a fruit in their lunch box as they go to school. An orange or apple will do. They are sweet and are good detoxifiers

3.      Avoid soft drinks and snacks if possible. When you have to, buy few and do not stock them up in the fridge. Today’s children prefer Cola drinks than milk! Explain the health benefits of milk (rich in calcium), and at the same time the health hazards of colas. For snacks, give your child peanuts or raw carrots to chew if they must have something when watching TV

4.      Instead of fruit juices, offer the child water more often. Water flushes out toxins and has no sugar therefore it’s a healthy drink.

5.      Involve the kids in planning healthy meals. This makes them know that it is their responsibility to eat healthily.

6.      Do not give up. Sometimes children don’t want to eat a new kind of food. Explain to them the health benefits of the food. Do not force it on them, give them time.

7.      LEAD BY EXAMPLE. Eat healthy if you want the kids to.

In our third and last series we will talk about the importance of exercise and creative and fun ways to make your kids exercise!

HAPPY PARENTING!!!

WHY WE ARE SLOWLY POISONING OUR CHILDREN (PART I)

The London Olympic Games are almost coming to a close. And like any competitions, I have had my favorites in these games. Apart from the usual Usain Bolt and David Rudisha (for now obvious reasons), I have loved to watch the US teenage gymnast and gold medalist Gabrielle Douglas. Every step she takes during her performances she does with such ease, you’d be forgiven to think that you can actually rise up from your seat and join her. But mostly, Gabrielle reminds me of my childhood. We had gymnastics way back in school, growing. Not Gabrielle’s “advanced” type, but we’d do the somersaults, “cut wheel”, “ head stand”, “hand walk”, “crab walking”, and other simple moves (well to Gabrielle’s standards!)

I remember when I was in lower primary I couldn’t wait to get to the upper classes because only then would I be allowed to join the gymnastics team. But the time I was in class four (the first of the upper classes), I had practiced most of the common moves ready to join the team.

We currently do not have gymnastics as part of extra-curricular activities in our school system any more. I do not know why they decided to remove them.

Play back then was much more “active”. We’d practice our high jump in rivers using bamboo, as poles. We’d use sand for “soft landing”. Play time involved a lot of running, sweat and of course bruises! We were healthy. I do not remember any time, ever seeing an overweight friend or class mate. We were healthy, lean kids. We needed not to worry about junk foods, there was no junk! If we ever had junk, we’d burn it all up in the play field - without knowing

Am surprised at how nowadays in a group of kids you won’t miss an obese kid. Some parents even show off their overweight children (they think that it’s a sign of good health!)

We don’t let our kids play, sweat it all out. We keep them indoors, and when they go out to play it’s restricted; not enough space, and the all “be-careful-don’t-hurt-yourself-honey” kind of adult supervised play. There’s such a thing as kid safety (what with the perverted world we live in), but we truly can minimize the “overprotection” and let kids be…

(to be continued..)

I FAULT OUR EDUCATION SYSTEM

When I was in class one after preschool, we used to carry wet clay soil to school for molding pots, cars, houses and every exciting thing we thought of. This would be done during our art and craft class. It was fun.

I remember a long time ago when I was in class six we were supposed to make a music drum with tins and animal hide. It wasn’t easy but we had fun, lots of fun when we all after one month displayed our drums, and competed to see whose drum was the best “cooked” (i.e. the one with the highest pitch). I remember I had to “book” the skin of the lamb we ate over Easter in that year so that I can use it for the art and crafts project.

In class seven we were required to sew pajama suits as our year project in home science. After several false starts and pricks with a needle on my index finger, I had my first pajama suit.

In class eight for our national examination assessment we made tin lamps. I remember us moving all over the neighborhood trying to get old tins that we may use for our project…it was challenging, but again it was fun

One of the exams I remember we did in music involved singing a song while dancing to it, then the teacher would award marks according to your performance. I was in the school choir and I can say that’s where I learned about melody, soprano, modulation, keys, tones etc…things I still I apply whenever I sing.

Then we left primary school and went to high school. In form one and two I did power mechanics, yes, power mechanics. I still remember two stroke engine, four stroke and one stroke engines. I remember types of nuts, pistons, threads….

Some of my friends did music in high school, others pursued woodwork and others art.

Weekends were days for play. We would go to villages far off, just to be with other kids and play with them. We would make wooden cars and push each other in turns. We would go to the river to swim, we would run, play catch and do all kiddies stuff..

We had light school bags, very light school bugs, with only a pencil, eraser and one or two books. It was fun being young.

Not any more. In primary school, currently there’s no such thing as art and crafts. There is no more home science, and kids won’t sew up buttons if their life depended on it. We have children; teenagers who cannot make a simple meal, who cannot wash a house or feed a baby. Those things are not mandatory lessons in primary school.

The syllabus has been chipped, with only five examinable subjects, none of which is practical.

My six year old kid leaves me in house every morning at seven to go to school. His bag is heavier than my hand bag, which by no means is light. I arrive home at four in the evening to find that he hasn’t arrived, he’s at school Saturday till two when am in the house having a quiet weekend. .

 I feel bad that my son is being short changed. That school is robbing him of his childhood. He can’t have enough time to play; he has tons of homework to do after school. He can’t watch Ben 10 his favorite cartoon character.

My son can’t enjoy his childhood, and yes, I fault our education system, I fault our education system, yes I fault our education system, did I say I fault our education system?

JAIL FOR MUMMY

I came from school and found them arguing,

Mummy had climbed on top of her bed and daddy was on the doorway,

He was shouting to mummy to serve him with food,

My mummy could not have any of it,

She held a big stick on her hand.

Although mummy looked like she wanted to beat daddy, she had tears in her eyes,

I was hungry, because mummy had said in the morning that there’s no food,

And there’s no money to buy lunch and bring to school.

I was feeling weak, and I was wondering why both mummy and daddy could not see that I had not eaten

I went to sit outside the big tree behind our house,

The noise was still loud, but somehow I managed to doze off,

Then I woke up when I heard noises as if people had come to our home,

It was true.

At first it was a small crowd, then more and more people streamed into our home.

I saw the police van take away my mummy and daddy,

Daddy was bleeding and uncle held his hand and led him into the waiting police van,

There was a lot of noise, and I think I heard someone say, “Let’s first take him to hospital”

That’s when I knew daddy was injured

Then one by one the neighbours left our home,

I was happy, because it was quiet now,

The sun was then setting, I went to the house and looked around for something to eat,

I only found an old orange, hard and with moulds all over,

I crashed it and ate the “good parts”

I heard voice whisper right into my ear.

She said something about jail for mummy,

But I was happy grandma came, I was hungry, and she was holding a cup of porridge.

MARRIED, BUT SINGLE!

This post has been motivated by the recent slashing of men by their wives with machetes in Central Kenya, specifically Nyeri county.

Just the other day I was talking to a lady who is a domestic help. She is married, and has three children aged between twelve and five years. He husband has been jobless for more than ten years, during time which she has provided for the family most of the time. Am talking about food, clothing for her children, school fees and every financial need.

Her husband on the other hand, though having no monthly salary has been doing casual jobs, for which he earns a daily wage. In spite of the fact that he does get some money, he has been of no support to his family. Drinking away the money or spending it to buy drinks for his friends, buying phones and credit for the phones. Whenever she’d ask for money, the husband would spank her in front of their children.

Then recently I realized that she looks happier, healthier and actually had acquired a glow. Sometimes am a meddler so I asked her what’s going on. She told me how the husband got a job far away, and how a burden has been lifted off her shoulder. So I go “hey, congrats, now you don’t have to do everything by yourself”. To my surprise she says that she isn’t expecting him to support them any more than he has in the past, so I go “huh?”

The burden, it turns out, is the husband! She goes on to explain how she’s had to feed five mouths, and now she’ll feed one “big mouth” less. How she can sleep peacefully after a day’s work, how her children won’t have to witness the nasty exchanges they’ve been having, how there’ll be no one constantly going through her phone trying to see who calls her and whom she calls, how she will have peace knowing her kids can live in peace. So I go “wow”!

Women talk, about everything. About how our kids are doing, about our jobs, husbands, church, our in-laws, parents, and about everything that the mouth can pronounce. In my interaction with women, I realize most have been left to the sole care of the children. Have they eaten, are their clothes clean, what’s with the cough, have they brushed their teeth, do they have enough books, pens... The men have reduced themselves to by standers. Reduced themselves because it’s a choice they have made..

How else would you explain why a man, upon getting some cash, would forget he has a wife and children looking up to him, and goes about spending this money on alcohol? She (the wife) wakes up, prepares breakfast, prepares the kids for school, sets his breakfast, cleans the house, gets what’s to be taken for lunch, dinner… and all this time the man is bumming around, doing nothing.. A lot of men have abandoned their divine role of being the head of the family to their wives. The women double up as mothers and heads of the family. They, however married have become single mothers, more like “double mothers” because they do double of the work; they are the mothers as well as the fathers.

I do not blame so much our sisters from Nyeri whom everyone is castigating on facebook. One male lawyer said recently on TV that when you see a woman feeling so aggrieved as to slash with a machete her own husband and the father of her children, then it’s the man who has a problem. He couldn’t have been more right. When men do not take their rightful place in the family and society; that of guidance, provision and love, then they are setting a bad example to their own children, and are tearing the family fabric right in the middle.

What father/husband are you? Are you proud of the things you do, to an extend you can tell your children to follow in your footsteps?

Let’s cut the Nyeri women some slack, I do not support violence of any nature, but what would you do?

COUNTING MY BLESSINGS

Yesterday I did something that I have never done in my life – shopping for teenage boys. My son is not yet seven, and therefore I still get kiddies stuff whenever I shop for him.

You see, we have decided to bring together all the orphaned students in our school to form a group. This way, we make sure we know them all; we can identify their collective needs and create a platform for them to share their experiences. This way we believe that they’ll encourage one another, as each will feel that their challenges are not unique to them only. We had collected a few coins from fellow teachers and some students, and we told the orphans to write down some of material needs they have. The list included toothpaste, toilet paper, soap, petroleum jelly, pens, and other small essentials.

At first I thought the money we had wouldn’t be enough (we had 1,500 KES, an equivalent of about 18 US dollars).

Here’s what happened at the super market where we went to purchase the items from.

I will compare yesterday’s shopping experience with the one I do for myself or my house.

At the toilet paper aisle, we picked the cheapest tissue papers (22 KES, about 25 US cents). Normally, when am buying tissue paper, I look at quality. I want to buy the smoothest, and mostly it’s the most expensive. Color is also very important. I buy gentle pink or pure white. I will mostly buy a certain brand, and if I don’t get it in the shop am in, I will move to a new one. I hate green or blue tissue. Yesterday, it was about the price.

When we went to pick shoe polish, we picked the cheapest- what we could get as a large container at a good bargain. When shopping for my shoe polish, I prefer shoe cream, from a certain brand, which is the most expensive among all brands.

Then I had to pick petroleum jelly. I didn’t realize that you could actually buy petroleum jelly at such cheap prices. When I want some lotion to apply to my skin, there are lots of things I put into consideration. One is the ingredients…does it for example have vitamin E, what’s the consistency of the lotion. Is it too thick or does it run too easily. It’s sometimes about the smell, the brand. There are brands I believe are more superior to others, meaning, they are more expensive compared to others. In fact sometimes if I don’t like the smell of a certain lotion after using it for a while, I will stop using it, mid-way and buy the one I prefer.

Then we had to buy the pens. We looked around for the cheapest. When buying a pen for myself, I like to look at the point... Does it write thin, sharp letters?

So there I was, yesterday, after a long time, looking first at the prices of items before buying. We had limited cash, and we needed to buy several things for several boys. I learned that the economy isn’t so bad after all. When you first look at the price, actually things can be managed.

We bought bar soap, long bars, so that the boys can divide among themselves for use to bathe and for washing clothes. Amazingly, we only used about three quarters of the money we’d initially thought wouldn’t be enough. The boys were happy, they couldn’t hide their joy. I was touched, and I realized that you don’t have to be Bill and Belinda Gates to help someone in need. People who don’t have plenty appreciate the little they get.

I learned that I take a lot thing for granted, I like to complain and yet God has been so merciful and gracious. He has supplied. That I can afford soap. That am blessed, and I will thank the Lord for the good things He has given me.

I AM BLESSED!!

I AM TEACHING DOCTORS AND ENGINEERS

Last week we admitted new students in Form One. The boys look so young; you almost wonder whether they have really been through Primary School.

Normally, when I have new students, I like to ask them to say their name and their dreams (what they aspire to be after their education)

A large majority said doctors (about 30%), 20% said engineers. The rest wanted to be teachers, lawyers, pilots, politicians, accountants, nurses, policemen, one wanted to be a driver, another one was not sure.

They look confident, and you could see the sparkle in their eyes when talking about their future careers.

My son has always wanted to be a pilot. So much so that he has this book on different types of planes that he has to look at every night before he goes to bed. Then he saw in a movie a plane that was blown off mid air. He said he no longer wants to be a pilot because planes get blown off. I had to assure him that it was all fake, but then again it could happen... I know I kind of had him confused especially on that it could happen. I believe when he can fully understand it, he will be able to know what I meant.

Every phase in education offers the student a new hope, a new life, a new chance/opportunity to shape their life. For young people, it goes deeper than that. When they talk about what they like to become, it’s because they are most certainly sure, and nothing stands in their way. Unfortunately a good number do not make it to pursue their dream career.

A lot happens between the time a student joins school and the time they leave for their chosen careers. Along the way are many issues they come across, some good, some quite challenging and others downright difficult. As a parent, it’s up to you to become the firm foundation on which a child can put their hope, on which they can always glance back in times of despair and get the much needed nudge to press on. It may just be a nod, that this will pass, or words of encouragement, or just a listening ear.

Here are a few tips, from my personal experience and what I have seen with others, on how to make sure your kid stays focused to pursue their dreams

1. Ask. A good number of parents have never taken the time to really ask their children what they would like to become when they grow up. Mostly, we assume they will follow in our footsteps. But do you really want your child to follow in your footsteps? Before you answer this question, take time to mentally retrace your footsteps and see whether that is what you want for your child.
2. Why. Let your child explain to you why they have chosen this career and not the other. The purpose of this is to be able to know your kid’s exact interests, and then you can be able to properly assist them towards that goal.
3. Research, research, research. When your child expresses interest in a certain career, take time to research, preferably with them on what the career entails. Have the facts at hand. Talk to an expert in the field the child is interested in. have them ask all questions they have about their career interest.
4. Follow up. Sometimes due to peer influence a child may change their mind on what they really want to be. Find out why, listen, and ask if it’s their choice or because their friend says so. Make them understand that one time they will be all grown up and their friends will not be around any more, then they will live their own lives.
5. Give them support. If you come across material that may assist them in creating more interest, give it to them.
6. For “highly academic” careers (ones that need specialization in certain academic areas), assist them to choose the right subjects. If you are not sure, consult their teacher, or someone already in that career.
7. Most importantly, look out for special talents that your child possesses, get an expert if you have to. There are many out there. That way, you can know how as a parent you can complement their interests with the special capabilities they have, and you can give the right career guidance.

I am teaching young boys, but am looking at DOCTORS, ENGINEERS, PILOTS, TEACHERS, LAWYERS, BUSINESS PEOPLE AND OTHER GREAT PERSONS!

"COME ON, TALK TO ME"

Dickson has been well disciplined for most of the time since he joined our school in Form One. He was doing well in his studies, making top five in most exams. Sometime last year he suddenly dropped in class performance, something, which at first I dismissed as just competition stiffening in his class. But then as time went by, I realized his behavior too was changing. He seemed to constantly be in trouble with teachers. If he wasn’t using the wrong language at school, he was in the list of noise makers in class or he was late waking up in the morning. That got me bothered. I talked to him, and especially about his academic work. I also lightly mentioned to him the importance of avoiding trouble with teachers, because it would affect his stay at school. He promised to change….

Recently, I noticed that he was getting distant during lessons in class, he seemed disinterested, almost bored. I caught him severally dozing in class, and it’s then I noticed he looked disturbed.  I called him, and told him that we needed to talk. When he came, I assured him of my undivided attention, that he could talk about everything, anything. Then amid tears, (when you see a seventeen year old shedding tears, then you know this is a huge one) he told me the story of his life. How his parents are always fighting at home, how his father is a habitual drunk, and how after completing his primary education he went to work in Mombasa, vending fruits because his parents couldn’t afford to pay for his secondary education.  

He went on to talk about how one time he saw a lady tourist in Mombasa and decided to approach her, to request if she could pay his fees so he goes back to school. The lady obliged and up to now she pays his school fees. However, there’s trouble at home. His parents are constantly quarrelling and fighting, and he cannot concentrate in his studies. At first, I was lost for words. Honestly, I didn’t know what word to tell him, but at last we agreed that he lives with one of his relatives, away from home until he can finish school.

I learned that young people, unlike grown-ups are faced with a crisis. They are not children, and neither are they adults. According to them, no one understands, and the world has turned against them. They yearn for attention, but they don’t know how to go about it. They rebel, in the hope that someone will notice their presence, just.

We on the other hand are quick to judge them, almost fighting them and in the process hurting them more, and pushing them further and further away. Here are a few tips on how to deal with wayward teenagers-

1.       Listen to them, they have concerns

2.       Ask their opinion on changes you want to make at home, and which affect them. For instance which school they want to attend, where to go for holidays, or even when you want to redecorate. And by the way, youth may know stuff that you don’t

3.       Don’t quarrel or fight in their presence. It comes down heavily on them

4.       If they have become rebellious all of a sudden, find out what’s eating them up. You will be surprised!

5.       If you’re a teacher, be interested in your student’s lives. Some have come from harsh backgrounds, they hurt, and all they need is understanding

Youth don’t rebel for rebellion’s sake. Mostly it’s due to unresolved issues, and it is up to you as a teacher, parent or pastor t figure that out.

Be the hope for a young person. Tell them “COME ON, YOU CAN TALK TO ME!”

OMG, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BABY

Imagine coming home from work, and finding your five year old kid crying in pain, because someone just raped them, what would you do?

*Teacher Onesmus was the kind of person you would find hard to describe..it’s true, some people are so easy to describe, at least physically. A majority of us are very tall, or very short, extremely dark skinned, extremely light skinned, and having a large, flat nose, loud mouthed, big round eyes…you get the drift. You wouldn’t describe Onesmus by any of the above words.

We’ve never worked together, but he was teaching at a school near where I was working (long before I became a teacher). He kept mostly to himself, and seemed not to have many friends. In my girlie mind, I often wondered whether he had the confidence to ask a girl out..!

Then I left that place. I  had a friend who was working with Onesmus, and one time she gave me a story about Onesmus. A story that has  inspired what am writing about today.

You see, in the school that Onesmus  teaching, a pupil refused to report to school on the opening day. The boy’s parents tried to talk him into accepting to go to school, but he wouldn’t budge. It’s after they threatened to beat him up that he decided to talk.

 Apparently, Onesmus, who resided at school would call some of the boys to his house, where he gave them sweets and sexually molest them after threatening them if they breathed a word. He did this to a number of boys.. An investigation was done and it was found  that what the boys were claiming was true. Their teacher had molested them on occasion.

I don’t know what happened to the case with the boys, but I later met him near the school I currently teach. He was teaching at a neighbouring school. I haven’t seen him for quite a while, but the last I heard of him, he had been transferred to several schools after molesting children. Here’s my point, sexual molestation of children is real. The worst bit is that it is not done by people who are completely strange to them. Child molesters are not dirty disheveled haggard looking people. Children are molested by people they know. Mostly people with a physical, or “leadership” advantage over them. Most children are molested by close relatives, teachers, neighbours they trust or spiritual leaders

Signs your kid is possibly being molested

1.       The kid becomes withdrawn all of a sudden. For no reason

2.       They start to wet the bed (I will repeat here again, bed wetting in grown children is a basic sign of stress. Follow that up)

3.       They no longer wants to be bathed, they insist on doing it themselves.

4.       Whenever being bathed, they grimace in pain especially when being washed their private parts

5.       When the molester comes around, the kid leaves, or if they were happily playing with the rest, they stop and may coil up at a corner.

6.       They stop using a certain route to school or church or to the market and they hesitate to give a reason why.

7.       They change their walking style. They may start walking with their feet farther apart than normal

8.       They refuse to talk with the molesters. If a child out of nowhere changes the way they interact with certain people, you might wanna find out why

9.       They say they don’t want to go to that home, or that school, or that church, and they seem irritable when you push to find out why

10.   They seem abnormally close to a certain grown up.. you can know when a grown up seems to be touching or playing with them inappropriately.

11.   You think that someone may be molesting them. Trust your instincts.

12.   A drop in academic performance, especially if you cannot put a finger to the cause

Precautions

1.       Do not leave your children with people you don’t trust

2.       Don’t let kids go to school, the shop, church or neighbors’ house entirely on their own

3.       Have activities that your children can engage in at the house, so they don’t get bored and wander to the neighborhood

4.       Build trust between yourself and your kid. Let them trust you to share issues with you, without fear of admonition

5.       Dress kids, especially young girls, like kids. Mothers, let’s stop dressing our daughters like little women. There’s no excuse, or reason for a man to molest a kid or anyone sexually, not dressing, not anything, but please, let’s play our role, there are twisted minds out there

6.       Tell your children the dangers they can come across as children. Encourage them to tell you if any one behaves in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable. Prevention is better than cure.

7.       Train kids basic defense skills like screaming or the groin kick.

8.       Your children should know your telephone number off head and the police hotline. Let them also have the number of a trusted neighbor.

9.       Don’t let individuals with questionable behavior or past hang around your kids. Am talking about people with a criminal record, even if shop lifting, drug users or violent people, even if these people are close relatives

What to do

If you suspect there is something going on or about to go wrong…(in no particular order)..

1.       Talk to your kid. Let them know that no one has a right to take advantage of them. Sometimes because of the threats they’ve received from their molesters, a child may be too scared to say. Be friendly, take them out for ice cream or something, then as you spend the time together, talk to them

2.       Investigate. Follow them one time after school, and try to find out what they are doing and with whom

3.       If you already suspect who could be doing this to them, have them investigated. Or you can do it yourself. Ask around if you are not sure. People know stuff..

4.       Take your kid for a medical examination. Sometimes if physical molestation may not have happened already, you can the take the kid to a children’s counselor.

5.       Call the police. However, you should only do this when you have enough evidence..

Important

1.       Most kids are molested by people they look up to, so don’t assume that your child is completely safe with anyone apart from yourself. Even some house helps molest children

2.       This article is not about putting fear in you or making you not trust people with your child. It’s about looking out, and knowing that things happen.

YOUNG MAN, WHERE'S DADDY?

Yesterday, 25^th January, we’d a new student was admitted to Form three in our school. And yes, you guessed right, he came with his mommy! Got me thinking.. I thought of the time in a previous blog I had promised to talk about the role of the father.

Let me illustrate-

*John’s mother (not his real name) comes to me in tears and tells me that I should watch after her son because the boy is disturbed after the father says he wants nothing to do with him.

Linda, a domestic help pays school fees for her children by herself, though their father is alive and well

When Felix is sent home for school fees even when the parents have given him the depository cheque, it’s his mother who comes to school to find out what happened

Victor is no longer doing well in class, and it’s his mother who makes a call to my house to discuss her son’s performance

My phonebook has the numbers of most parents of kids in my class and I think I have the phone numbers of two fathers. I am talking about almost twenty parents!

Some fathers are so out of touch that when they come home, the kids scatter in all directions

FATHERS' DON'TS 1.    Ignore our children and make them feel that they are insignificant. 2.    Hit and yell at your children so that their lives are frightening and unpredictable. 3.    Hit your children's mother. 4.    Make excuses for children's misbehaviour and teach them to be irresponsible. 5.    Criticize your children so that they lose self confidence. 6.    Promise to do something with your children and then don't show up. 7.    Humiliate your children in front of their friends. 8.    Abuse the  referee in the match they are playing and scream how stupid he is, so that your children will learn not to respect authority and fair play. 9.    Show your children how to drink too much and laugh when they get drunk. 10.  Give your kids too many things and not enough of your time. 11.  Let your kids watch any TV they want because it is easier than doing things with them. 12.  Demand your children to be more mature than they can be and become impatient and hostile when they fail. 13.  Treat the women in our lives with disrespect. 14.  Pit one child against another so that all feel poorly about themselves. 15.  Badmouth teachers and wonder why our children have no respect. 16.  Teach them how to get away with mischief. 17.  Bully others and teach our children how to be cruel and mean. 18.  Be in your child’s live only when it is convenient for you. FATHERS' DOS 1.    Fathers should love their children. They should be a constant presence in every part of their lives. They should tell their children stories, so that they learn language and who they are. 2.    They should tease them lovingly, so they don't take themselves too seriously and can deal with real world teasing. Rough house with them and tickle them, so that they learn their physical side. 3.    Throw them up into the air and teach them to trust you will catch them every time. Carry them on your shoulders so that they can see the world. 4.    Wipe their noses and take them to the hospital when they break an arm. Expect a lot of them, so that they learn that they can do things. 5.    Teach them to respect their moms. 6.    Believe in your kids and give them confidence that they can do anything. Drive them to hockey, baseball, soccer, rugby, and swimming. 7.    Demand that they respect their teachers and coaches and show them how to question rather than show blind trust. 8.    Show your kids how to treasure friends and how to respect each person as an individual. Be are honest and caring in the family and show the kids how to relate to others 9.    Encourage each child in the things they are good at. Marvel at their accomplishments. 10.  Laugh with them and teach them the joy of life. What type of father do you strive to be? * All the stories I give are true, but the names of people involved are imaginary.