YOUNG MAN, WHERE'S DADDY?

Yesterday, 25^th January, we’d a new student was admitted to Form three in our school. And yes, you guessed right, he came with his mommy! Got me thinking.. I thought of the time in a previous blog I had promised to talk about the role of the father.

Let me illustrate-

*John’s mother (not his real name) comes to me in tears and tells me that I should watch after her son because the boy is disturbed after the father says he wants nothing to do with him.

Linda, a domestic help pays school fees for her children by herself, though their father is alive and well

When Felix is sent home for school fees even when the parents have given him the depository cheque, it’s his mother who comes to school to find out what happened

Victor is no longer doing well in class, and it’s his mother who makes a call to my house to discuss her son’s performance

My phonebook has the numbers of most parents of kids in my class and I think I have the phone numbers of two fathers. I am talking about almost twenty parents!

Some fathers are so out of touch that when they come home, the kids scatter in all directions

FATHERS' DON'TS 1.    Ignore our children and make them feel that they are insignificant. 2.    Hit and yell at your children so that their lives are frightening and unpredictable. 3.    Hit your children's mother. 4.    Make excuses for children's misbehaviour and teach them to be irresponsible. 5.    Criticize your children so that they lose self confidence. 6.    Promise to do something with your children and then don't show up. 7.    Humiliate your children in front of their friends. 8.    Abuse the  referee in the match they are playing and scream how stupid he is, so that your children will learn not to respect authority and fair play. 9.    Show your children how to drink too much and laugh when they get drunk. 10.  Give your kids too many things and not enough of your time. 11.  Let your kids watch any TV they want because it is easier than doing things with them. 12.  Demand your children to be more mature than they can be and become impatient and hostile when they fail. 13.  Treat the women in our lives with disrespect. 14.  Pit one child against another so that all feel poorly about themselves. 15.  Badmouth teachers and wonder why our children have no respect. 16.  Teach them how to get away with mischief. 17.  Bully others and teach our children how to be cruel and mean. 18.  Be in your child’s live only when it is convenient for you. FATHERS' DOS 1.    Fathers should love their children. They should be a constant presence in every part of their lives. They should tell their children stories, so that they learn language and who they are. 2.    They should tease them lovingly, so they don't take themselves too seriously and can deal with real world teasing. Rough house with them and tickle them, so that they learn their physical side. 3.    Throw them up into the air and teach them to trust you will catch them every time. Carry them on your shoulders so that they can see the world. 4.    Wipe their noses and take them to the hospital when they break an arm. Expect a lot of them, so that they learn that they can do things. 5.    Teach them to respect their moms. 6.    Believe in your kids and give them confidence that they can do anything. Drive them to hockey, baseball, soccer, rugby, and swimming. 7.    Demand that they respect their teachers and coaches and show them how to question rather than show blind trust. 8.    Show your kids how to treasure friends and how to respect each person as an individual. Be are honest and caring in the family and show the kids how to relate to others 9.    Encourage each child in the things they are good at. Marvel at their accomplishments. 10.  Laugh with them and teach them the joy of life. What type of father do you strive to be? * All the stories I give are true, but the names of people involved are imaginary.