"COME ON, TALK TO ME"

Dickson has been well disciplined for most of the time since he joined our school in Form One. He was doing well in his studies, making top five in most exams. Sometime last year he suddenly dropped in class performance, something, which at first I dismissed as just competition stiffening in his class. But then as time went by, I realized his behavior too was changing. He seemed to constantly be in trouble with teachers. If he wasn’t using the wrong language at school, he was in the list of noise makers in class or he was late waking up in the morning. That got me bothered. I talked to him, and especially about his academic work. I also lightly mentioned to him the importance of avoiding trouble with teachers, because it would affect his stay at school. He promised to change….

Recently, I noticed that he was getting distant during lessons in class, he seemed disinterested, almost bored. I caught him severally dozing in class, and it’s then I noticed he looked disturbed.  I called him, and told him that we needed to talk. When he came, I assured him of my undivided attention, that he could talk about everything, anything. Then amid tears, (when you see a seventeen year old shedding tears, then you know this is a huge one) he told me the story of his life. How his parents are always fighting at home, how his father is a habitual drunk, and how after completing his primary education he went to work in Mombasa, vending fruits because his parents couldn’t afford to pay for his secondary education.  

He went on to talk about how one time he saw a lady tourist in Mombasa and decided to approach her, to request if she could pay his fees so he goes back to school. The lady obliged and up to now she pays his school fees. However, there’s trouble at home. His parents are constantly quarrelling and fighting, and he cannot concentrate in his studies. At first, I was lost for words. Honestly, I didn’t know what word to tell him, but at last we agreed that he lives with one of his relatives, away from home until he can finish school.

I learned that young people, unlike grown-ups are faced with a crisis. They are not children, and neither are they adults. According to them, no one understands, and the world has turned against them. They yearn for attention, but they don’t know how to go about it. They rebel, in the hope that someone will notice their presence, just.

We on the other hand are quick to judge them, almost fighting them and in the process hurting them more, and pushing them further and further away. Here are a few tips on how to deal with wayward teenagers-

1.       Listen to them, they have concerns

2.       Ask their opinion on changes you want to make at home, and which affect them. For instance which school they want to attend, where to go for holidays, or even when you want to redecorate. And by the way, youth may know stuff that you don’t

3.       Don’t quarrel or fight in their presence. It comes down heavily on them

4.       If they have become rebellious all of a sudden, find out what’s eating them up. You will be surprised!

5.       If you’re a teacher, be interested in your student’s lives. Some have come from harsh backgrounds, they hurt, and all they need is understanding

Youth don’t rebel for rebellion’s sake. Mostly it’s due to unresolved issues, and it is up to you as a teacher, parent or pastor t figure that out.

Be the hope for a young person. Tell them “COME ON, YOU CAN TALK TO ME!”